What's going on inside my head right now-

Discuss anything not covered by any of the other categories.
Post Reply
KakesaR
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2004 12:53 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

What's going on inside my head right now-

Post by KakesaR »

The post following this one is, as you should be able to see, very, very long.
It was originally going to be posted in Poetic Contraversy, but just now i've "come down" from my high, and no longer feel quite so hyperactive as I was at the time when I wrote it. You'll better understand what i'm talking about if you (though I advise that you shouldn't) read it all.
So, yes.. I decided it didn't fit in a poetry thread, and that i'd give it its own section, so that people would be able to access P.C without having to scroll through thousands of irrelevant words first, or at least know to avoid this topic in general.

So here it is, brace yourselves:
KakesaR
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2004 12:53 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by KakesaR »

Life, Prosthetic Limb Transplants and The Reasons We Associate The Two
(Scroll to the bottom, I urge you. This entire post has become meaningless and random, although there is some information about medical conditions down there that you might be interested in, and I believe an explanation as to why i'm acting like an idiot.
If you bother to read this, which I highly doubt anyone will, you'll know why I gave that name to this post, which was originally going to be further explaining what the poetry debate was to be about...)

Very, very sorry for all of this, I know it's wasting your time.
As I mentioned earlier, it's the medication. I was just diagnosed with A.D.D

Not A.D.H.D, there's a major difference..

*Will now proceed to waste more of your time and describe to you the differences*

A.D.D:
Attention Defisate (or Defisite? I don't know how it's spelt) Disorder.
Inability to concentrate, motivate self and often hard to inspire, which results in decreasing grades in school, which results in depression, which results in someone who sits at home on a computer all day (ie. me).
People that have it often slip under the radar (so to speak) in childhood, and are mistaken for being stupid, lazy or overtired.

A.D.H.D:
Attention Defisate Hyperactivity Disorder.
The one everyone knows (or thinks they know) about.
Hyperactive (hence the name) and not able to concentrate. Easily diagnosed as the child has a tendency to:
1) Run around screaming
2) Throw rocks at other children
3) Attempt to impale furry creatures on sticks in the playground at school
4) Speak quickly
5) Be rude
6) Often act entirely psychotic.
To classically stereotype these kids, i'll say they foam at the mouth, twitch and blurt out stupid words at random intervals (and now you're probably thinking "YOU!" or "Timmy, from South Park!")

So I did a test to see which symptoms of A.D.D I had, and my score was- *drum roll* 9/9.
Yes, in other words, i'm a freak.
So they sent me on my way packed to the pockets with drugs (not literally.. just one bottle of pills, but it cost *is unsure if he can swear on this forum* seventy *refrains* dollars! *refrains* And that's every month!

And so i've just taken my first pill this morning, and obviously, i've probably kind've gone over my dosage.. I've managed to slip from A.D.D to A.D.H.D in a matter of *Checks clock* one hour and fourtythree minutes.

So, here I am, describing why i'm typing so much, and typing an awful lot in the process. Wow, you must be pretty *refrains* bored to have bothered reading all of this (not really expecting that you did read it, if by chance you're reading this bit here, it's probably only because you were browsing through my random loads of crap and managed to see it).

I know i'm breaking all of my own rules by talking about this in here, but I couldn't find the

"Psychotic Freaks With Mental Disabilities Who Are Pumped Full of Medication And Feel Like Their Arms Are Shaking, Even Though Their Arms Aren't Really Shaking, They Just Aren't Used To Having Any Kind Of An Energy And So It Feels Really Weird For Them To Be Able To Move Without Moaning And Complaining For Thirty Seconds Prior To The Movement"

thread, so.. just pretend that this is all poetry, and you're allowed to comment on it (ie. complain about it) if you so wish. I'll even give it a name at the top, to make it feel more authentic.
Once again, very, very sorry. I'd erase all of this, but knowing my luck i'd say my computer would freeze if I tried to, and then i'd get angry and beat the *refrains* erm.. "naughty word" out of it. Also, I don't feel like erasing it.. I don't know why, but for some reason, humourless as this entire incredibly oversized time-wasting pathetic post is, I seem to find it funny.

I wrote this seconds ago to describe why I was laughing, and it ended up (like everything else i've said) to be about seven times longer than I wanted it to be.. but there's some repetition in there, so i'll try to get away with doing what all of the artists these days do:
Slap a label on some meaningless junk that says "Modern Art", and sell it to upper-class Hungarian twits who, like most upper-class twits (had to add that in so that I wasn't being racist), will think that they can "relate" to it, even though in truth there's nothing about it which in any way resembles anything might hold some kind of truth/meaning/biassed statement, and even though the rich *refrains* probably don't know what the meanings of "relate" or "emotional value" are anyway.
Here I am again, rambling on about crap. I've written things about writing things about my rambling on about crap now, yet still I persist and continue to ramble on about crap. I'll just click "submit" in a minute, before I get a chance to think of some other irrelevant piece of information which I feel obliged to share with the rest of the community, even though you are probably ashamed of me and quite possibly asleep on your keyboard, or perhaps even thinking of calling the police to arrest me.
I did it again, didn't I..?

Where was I? That's right. It's good being able to concentrate now. I didn't even have to scroll up to remember what I was talking about!

Here's the poem that i'm going to make millions of dollars off when I sell it to Hungarians:

Maybe, Maybe Nothing
Maybe i'm just laughing at how *refrains* "naughty word"ed up I am,
or
Maybe i'm just laughing at how long it is,
or
Maybe i'm just laughing because of the irony that life is to live, yet it kills us in the end anyway,
or
Maybe i'm just laughing because of how senseless that last suggestion was,
or
Maybe i'm just laughing because of this stupid medication (it.. seems to be the most likely one)
or
Maybe i'm just laughing because.. no, i've stopped now, so it's okay.

As I said about 30 minutes ago (I became too engaged in the description of other, if at all possible, even more irrelevant things), that isn't supposed to be a decent poem, so don't think i'm more of an idiot than i'm being at this particular point in time.
And no, i'm not always like this.
I actually kind've miss my slow-thinking, lazy side now :( I'm talking/acting like an imbasile, and really not being myself.
Least i've got an excuse, now.. i'm drugged.
Maybe i've overdosed. Maybe I shouldn't have asked for the 40mg pills.
All well.

Finally, i've gotten to the end of what (when scrolling through at rapid speed, pausing occasionally to read three to five words, and then continuing to scroll downward again) appears to have turned into some kind of biography which i'll happily title "Life, Prosthetic Limb Transplants and The Reasons We Associate The Two".

*Stops before he becomes engaged in further rambling*
Megazoid
Posts: 116
Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:37 pm
Contact:

Post by Megazoid »

Yes, in other words, i'm a freak.
Don't be so silly. You are a good kid, and far from a "freak". Estimates of the frequency of ADD vary from 1 in 3 to 1 in 1000. Now, to me, even if it was 1 in 1000 that's still common.

I'm an old guy, maybe even your dad's age, but I started taking some pills to try an sort out some stress issues I had. The damn things flipped me out completely at first, but I stuck with them and things eventually calmed down. I'm no doctor, so I'm not going to try and give you advice, but try to keep your parents and friend's up-to-date on what's going on.

Anyways, good luck, and try to sink that energy in something to do with Quake :D :D :D
KakesaR
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2004 12:53 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by KakesaR »

Haha, okay, thanks.
You guys won't have to worry about any more rambling from me, because I have to take the pill in the morning, and I usually don't go on the computer until night time (when the initial 'hit' has worn off). Today was an exception for me because my stupid school, as a result of poor ability to plan, has decided that I have to drop one of my major elective subjects for my next year.

I have to choose which to drop: either

a simplistic computer course which I will probably find boring, but know I will get good marks with it which will help me,

or French, which I want to learn, but wouldn't give me any decent marks.

As if that's not bad enough, I have to replace it with something boring, being one of:
Business Studies, Chemistry, Biology or Physics.
I don't think, even with the new medication, i'll have the attention span to deal with Physics (even though alot of it would probably help me with programming in the future).
I want to start up a business someday in game design, but Business Studies sounds boring.
I'm probably going to do Chemistry, because it sounds at least a little interesting.

I'd ask for people's opinions, but I don't have time: I have about 2 hours left to make a decision which will affect the rest of my life. If I choose the wrong subject, i'll become too stressed and have to leave school, and probably become a junky.

Such is life..

Oh, by the way, who's the youngest on this forum? (I want to know so that I can judge how advanced I am in the world of programming considering my age. I know many people don't start until their 20s, but i've still heard of plenty of thirteen year olds who are more experienced than me.. which I find a little sad, but i'll deal with it.)
I'm fifteen, by the way. I guess I don't know any programmers in person, so I haven't got anyone to follow and learn from.. which sucks on my part.

Oh, and in future, i'll try to keep my messages shorter for the sake of convenience.
Tei
Posts: 193
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:22 pm

Post by Tei »

KakesaR wrote:Hyperactivity
my girlfriend its also hyperactive, she can use medication OR my love :D

yes, love its usefull to fix that problem, somewhat :D
KakesaR
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2004 12:53 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by KakesaR »

Hahaha.. I can't make love to my girlfriend, because every time I double click on her panties, she freezes -_-' I blame Microsoft.
Post Reply