Quakeguy Facts

[Orion]

Simply state a fact about our favorite elite soldier.


The Quakeguy is over 7 feet tall;

The Quakeguy could eat his axe, but he just don't want to;

The Quakeguy is able to kill the entire US army in a matter of seconds. Alone. And he'll survive with 70 health;

The Quakeguy sold his soul to Chthon in order to have uncomparable weapon abilities. Some time after the transaction, he fired a rocket at Chthon's head and got his soul back. Chthon couldn't get upset and admitted that he should have foreseen this. Now they play poker all the second wednesdays of each month.

The Quakeguy can headshot you with at least one pellet using a Double-Barrel Shotgun 200 miles away;

The Quakeguy can mow down a Scrag in just one shot by pointing his finger to the air and yelling "bang!";

Chuck Norris and the Quakeguy once crossed paths. They looked each other in the eye. Chuck said "hey". The Quakeguy nodded. Then, that pocket of reality collapsed in on itself, as no plain of existence is firm enough to withstand that much awesomeness in one place. That fateful place is now known as Shub-Niggurath's pit.

The Quakeguy's rocket launcher is what caused Pangaea to break apart;

The Quakeguy counted to infinity. Thrice;

The Quakeguy's facial expression never changes because his adventure isn't interesting, even in the least way. Additionally, he never speaks or responds when spoken to;

The Quakeguy has a list of people he wants dead;

The Quakeguy built a gun when he was 4 years old. That gun is called "Lightning Gun";

The Quakeguy can create clones of himself to fight with when he don't want to kill innocent people. Deathmatch was born;

The Quakeguy once arm wrestled Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris was so injured that he was forced to practice roundhouse kicks for the rest of his life.

[Chip]

The Quakeguy has a list of people he wants dead;

When Quakeguy adds someone on the list, that someone dies instantly by spontaneous combustion.

Reason: it seemed too simple.

[Orion]

Quakeguy played russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver and won;

The Bugatti Veyron has the power of 1001 hp. Quakeguy's car has the power of 1001 Veyrons;

Quakeguy sleeps with a pillow under his gun;

Everything Midas touches are transformed in gold. Everything Quakeguy touches are transformed in a Zombie. Including Midas.

[lth]

Quakeguy can jump out of an aeroplane with no chute and still only take -5HP.

Quakeguy is only 13 years old and he's still fucked yo mama.